I have been over weight my entire life and suffered with depression because of it. Events that have happened in the past several years have left me extremely depressed. All my life I have not interact with the outside world very much. Always felt like I was trapped on the inside and if I could just lose the pounds, I could come out and be happy. I had Gastric Bypass surgery in 2003 and I did everything by the book and was so proud that I lost over 150 lbs. What I didn't know then was they way my body would look after losing that much weight. In 2004 I had to have a Hysteroctomy because of severe pelvic pain. The surgery did not help. In 2005 I had to have a morphine pain pump surgically placed in my abdomen. During all this time I was engaged to a wonderful man that I thought was my soulmate. He stood by me through out it all and we were hoping to be married once I got to feeling better. That took until 2007 and within a few months we got the horrible news that he had brain tumors that came from his lung. He was given no more than a year to live and though he put up a fight , he died in 11 months. That was July 04, 2008. I have been in an extreme amount of deep depression. I don't like my body, so thinking of going on with life and possibly finding someone else to share my life with, seems totally out of reach. I miss my fiancee so much , but know I must go on. I look at myself in the mirror and think terrible thoughts of myself. It is so bad that I have given up on life ever being good for me.  Just to have plastic surgery would mean the world to me, but I am unable toafford it. Actually my arms are the worse part. If I could just have surgery on them, it would improve my outlook of myself so much. I want to look in the mirror and see a pretty woman. Someone that somebody else might would like to have. A total body reconstuct would be nice but all I really want is the excess skin on my arms removed. If I could look in the mirror and see someone that has a somewhat attractive body, I think it would make me happy and could help my life to become happy.