I had been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours in a dead sleep, had the ringer off, and the door blocked like i usually do with a crutch placed so a person can't open the door from the outside. Anyway, I wake up to this pounding on the door and someone using a key to get in // fiddling with the lock and I fly out of bed and yell "Who is this?" (wasn't expecting anyone) and I ran to the door to the more pounding on the door and the lock still being messed with and again I said "WHO IS THIS?" And she said "oh, it's mom" as if nothing was wrong with this situation, as I was opening the door.
Apparently she had called 4 times, left 4 messages, then was over in the area doing things, let herself into the building, and proceeded to come in to my apt, to bring me some turkey soup and a piece of chicken!! She made it clear she wasnt worried about me just had food to give me and didn't think I'd be sleeping and was just gonna come in and leave it all here. And was just gonna put it in the refrig herself --let herself in etc because she thought I was out. Still mad about it. I said "well if I dont answer after 4 calls, and dont answer the door from a knock, chances are I'm sleeping or out. "Well I didnt think you'd be sleeping at this time of day" Anyway, she is gone finally. I mean...what would you've done?
Does anyone think this is intrusive or a legitimate excuse that she may be worried (even though she said she was not). And what would you have done in my situation? The only reason she has keys is because she is closer than and more reliable than the landlord if I got locked out.
Melissa.
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I think that your mom cares about you. And i also think you are COMPLETELY annoyed at her being so aggressive and persistant at trying to bring you soup. The truth is that a parent always tries to provide care and support to their child, but not always in the way that we might appreciate.
I think you felt she was overly aggressive at calling 4 times and trying to knock down your door that it created a very high stress situation for you. The other reason is also because you felt that if she was having a stoke or heart attack, YES, please do ring off the hook or try to break down the door, but not only to bring me soup. RIGHT so this wasen't exactly an emergency for her to act like that.
I know it's annoying, but if ever you are out of cash or need to talk to someone you trust, she is also the one to be there for you. So remember that and try to be a bit patient with her.
See ya!
Catherine
Yes but what if I had done the same to her, to enter her house without permission to bring her something...you know how much trouble I'd be in for entering their house without permission?
Melissa.
I am sorry.. I fail to see why you are so upset. I mean I would have been for a few seconds only because of the pounding on the dour rousing me from my sleep. But it sounds like she was being very thoughtful to me. and perhaps she was a bit worried with no answers.
She was worried... she loves you... she made the excuse of bringing soup "in case you were out" so it wouldn't seem like an intrusion (which backfired IMO). I'd chalk it up to her being worried for her baby-girl and forgive her.
I agree with Spry...but what if, heaven forbid, you had a boyfriend over or somethng like that? It's a hard call. One night when my Mom was still alive I called and the phone rang and rang. At first I assumed she was on the phone to her sister long distance but this was going on for a few hours. I called my brother and asked if he had talked to our Mom that day. He said no, but said he didn't think it was a big deal...she was probably on the phone. My Mom never talks for two hours, I pointed out. He said call her in the morning. Will I didn't listen to him. Now this was before my Mom had any health problems but I drove over to my Mom's house anyway. She didn't answer the door. I had a key and let myself in. I found her on the floor dazed and confused. The phone was of the hook. She wasn't able to move. She had been on the floor for hours.... If I had not gone over, how long would she have been on the floor and how much more damage would have been done ? So I can see it from both sides.
I knew she thought I was ok because she said to me she thought I was out with my friend from upstairs or out from a walk. We had just emailed too that AM a few hours earlier.
Melissa.
after rereading your blog, I noticed that you did answer your Mother, so she knew you were all right. At that point, I think she should have waited for you to open the door and not just barge in. You are an adult and despite her good intentions, she knew you were in no danger because she heard you asking "who's there?", she should have respected your privacey and allowed you to open the door. Just good manners/policy imo.
Thank you all for the advice.
Melissa.
I had to re-read you post. Honestly, I just don't see where she did anything wrong enough to be upset with her. IMO, she was being thoughtful. she was dropping something off for you and did call and knock several times each and though you simply were not there.
Enjoy every minute you have with your mama, and be grateful she is alive.
Enjoy every minute you have with your mama, and be grateful she is alive.
Enjoy every minute you have with your mama, and be grateful she is alive.
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