I am a 51 year old woman who has survived (to-date) type 1 diabetes with severe coronary artery disease of which I believe to have started because of an eight year battle with bulimia back in my late twenties/early thirties.  I have suffered three Myocardial Infarctions and was told in 2003 that I also have congestive heart failure.

Although my health is not ideal, I have a very strong support system and a generative life which keeps me fighting to live.  I have struggled through two marriages and am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man.

I've tried with much effort to obtain a physician here in my city for the past four years, but because I am considered "palliative," I am not a favourable candidate.  I do not want someone that I can go crying to every time there is a boo-boo, but rather someone whom I can get proper medical advice, blood work, and prescriptions from when needed.

I feel outcasted, because I have a disease that I know will most likely take my life some day...but I fear that with the attitude of "not wanting" to take on such a complex medical patient, (two cardiologist have told me that they cannot help me) many of us tend to want to hit a "fatal drop."  This is not the case with me (at this very moment) although, I have felt at times that I wanted to.

I realize that you most certainly cannot help in this situation but I also do enjoy listening and learning as much as I possibly can about any medical situation.