I am getting ready, slowly but surely ... My new places is a very short distance from my doc's office. I went and got my bloodwork Friday and when I go to my appt. on Thursday, it's a short distance like 4 or 5 blocks. I hadn't realized this prior. I am happy about that. Makes it easier, I won't even have to take the bus.   I am okay emotionally. Everyone who knows me,...

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I might actually land on my feet.  All that positive energy being thrown my way ... LOL!! My poor ma felt so bad, 'cause she is in no position to help me. But it was because of her this got solved...one of the nurses aides where she is has rooms for rent. I am going to move there. She requires a 6 to 12 month contract, and it is safe. Might not be a poerfect...

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I had insurance at one time. It wasn't the best but I did have it. Then I lost it. For 3 yeras I crossed my fingers, and prayed I would not get sick. I have diabetes and was diet controlled at that time, and I tried not to worry. Then I started feeling crappy, my weight creeping up and finally I got sick. My diabetes worse. At then time I was EXTREMELY active, but my...

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I'm okay. I was determined to be and I am. ALOT more thasn some people want me to be. People are surprised to not see me go tom pieces ... If you had seen her the day before she passed, you'd know whjy. People say you are never prepared,that when it coimes, it's a shock. Not for me. I had well preparedmyself, and I knew it was over. iI can tell you when exactly I...

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I know for a fact she'd want us all laughing! I was going thru her computer5 stuff and found this. http://www.gigglesclown.blogspot.com There is funny stuff there, pictures of us, pictures of our clowns, pictures of our friends, etc. but it's the stories that are the best. I sat here laughing my butt off! I particularly like the story about the dog snarling at her in her costume.  Rainbow. 

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Around 2pm Sunny's cancer battle ended. Her blood pressure dropped too low and they could not bring her around. I am okay, but I am angry. Her one thing was to not leave me stranded ... she felt terrible about this one thing. I am going to get some help from the social worker where Ma is in the nursing home. and I already spoke to her. It might be okay. I was supposed to...

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She's signed a DNR and has been asked when she wants to start hospice. She is holding on, but she is not going to get better, unless there is divine intervention. There's no more nedicine for her.   After wading thru shark filled waters. so to speak, I have decided to pick out a lwayer, to deal with issues related to the poor care she recieved cthat led to her too late diagnosis. I ahve...

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After ger tuff day and audience with the dr. she has had a serious downturn.  She has been drugged heavily since she returned to  the hospital and has not been really awake since 4pm yesterday. It is nnow 6pm. A nurse wwent to her room and tried to put her on the bphone but she was too out of it. Since I have an impending problem here at home, I can't get there. SO I...

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We knew this day was coming. Thinking positive and hope and prayer notwithstanding ... she and I are realistic. I might be part romantic, schemer / dreamer, but we knew ... The dr. decided to stop any more chemo. He was afraid to do it again because it would only make her physically deteriorate more. I am officially holding a letter that says, "incurable malignancy".  I had thought I was prepared to hear it, and...

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Thank you for your comment. I do have friends, and I am not alone. I am, however pretty self contained. If there are square pegs that don't fit in round holes, I am happily one of them! I HAVE PREETY MUCH ALWAYS SET MY OWN GOALS AND RULES, LIFE LONG AND i HATE TO BE CATEGORIZE.  lol!!! I do not attend a church, but am very religious, outside of Christianity.  But I also do not...

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Really bad day today. Her stomach tube is infected, she was "out of it" really bad,talking oout of her head and crying over the tiniest thing. She resembles herself B.C. (befire cancer), momentarily. Sunny, my sister, has actually become someone else. The transport to do a proceedure never happened, but they moved her to a non=private room. She is so unhappy to do this, as her privcy is diminished. She did a little PT today...

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I ended up not being able to see her today. Partly because she was going to be transported off property for a test and having a nasal tube inserted at the hospital. She has developed a possible bowel blockage and "something" in her stomach and an allergic reaction to "something" causing blistering on her body. The other part was because it was too cold for me to go out, in the power chair, and we...

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I'll be going to see her today. She has been removed from any attempts tro eat ... because it just was not working. So she iis back to only ice chips. She's really scared now.   The mesothelioma, is NOT the kind you see on TV. Hers is a rarer form not caused by asbestos. I barely understans all the specifics, but it is caused fromo a different (slightly) cell, and the origion is not...

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In answer tyo comment. It is my mom whon is in the nursing home, not mt sister. The place is very basic and NO< they don;t probvide anything but 3 meals, you have to have your own snacks. I hate to say it this way, but it is not what people think, to be in a home like this. It's noi aq great place ... the care, is adequate,  but everything else is basic. When...

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Sunny saw the dr. on friday and he told her that this cancer is usually fatal, regardless of treatment. If you think this sounds blunt or callous, I don't.  I'd rather have honesty, that gives me time to plan. When she is gone, I will have half the income we've had together. As twins, we've lived together forever, and shared expenses, and both of us have horriific medical bills for our various illnesses. At least,...

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My sister has a rare aggressiive, fast growing for =m of mesothilioma. This particular form, is not caused by asbestos. It is in the omentum th e lining of the abdomen and has spread all over her gut. Maybe in the colon, bladder, etc. She'd had a previous surgery, and the details are too long for tonight. I'm tired and depressed, but they feel as if the 1st doc, dropped the ball when there was...

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She's a teeny bit better. Trying to wean herself off pain med and nausea med. She ate some yogurt today, and it stayed down. Physical therapy is doing a bit more with her. She sounded more hopeful. They gave her another unit of blood yesterday. I am wondering about the donors. I know some people sell theirs, but there are those taht don't. Even the ones who ndomit for profit ... do they realize what...

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Forgive me if this rude, but I just have to say this. Sunny is in a holding pattern. The uncertaintity of it all  is getting to me. I know people are trying to be positive, but I have a different take on it all. I, personaqlly am preparing for the worst. In every way I can think of, financially, socially, spiritually, legally,  etc.Is it so wrong to ask this of people around me? Let me...

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Something you said struck a chord in me. Becoming a part of "this culture". I was n't aware disability was a "subculture"?! Personally, I will never be a part of "this culture". I am not my frailities, my disability. Pigeonholing me in to a group because I am disabled seem cruel, ineffective and biased. Does it mean I take on the characteristics of the "disabvled group". In what way? I didn't become someone else when...

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I haven't even begun to tell the whole story. It is so scary and awful and I will have to say rude negative things about medical professionals, and I know evry doc isn't bad ... but we've had our share. One "wonderful" doc told her all she wanted was pain pills and the pain was all in her head ....we know that is wrong, but on the day it was said, we really didn;t know....

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